http://feministing.com/2014/09/11/how-to-know-that-you-hate-women/
i saw this. clicked to start reading. read the first three lines before i clicked and by the time it opened up i was holding my face trying to hold back the tears. this story broke a barrier for me.. it came at a time I was processing my own life, context, circumstances, strangers on trains, community people and men in my life and experiences for the last year and over...and what this Ray Rice story did was make me confront how deeply entrenched, common and normal normel it is for the males i know ...they all hate women...and if i were to start giving you the reasons I say so you would think i am crazy. and you already do, but to take it to a whole nother level. but my observations are for the highly sensitive, the things most people would miss and only catch when they are smacked in the head bouncing off an elevator onto unconscious on the ground with the man not even batting an eye while he waits for the elevator to rise or drop to his pressed destination. it even happened today. a friend so called called to say his birthday was yesterday, asked me what i was doing, said lets go for a drink. i asked him when he said in a little bit. after an hour i got ready. poured some sorrel to chase and called. text. no answer. that is some blatant bullshit, disregard and doh care but who gets meted out that kind of treatment, and men do that all the time here. I see them do it with their mothers. she send them for something on an errand he end up by me, liming, chilling, coassing...i even had to tell someone once, 'please dont ever do that to me' the guy today, I would have never pegged him for that...one of those high class, come from long time money and established family so i would expect a bit more polish but to me, nigga is nigga behavior and you could have straight indian hair and you would be a nigga too by that kind of action and impression. but it has been paining me. deeply. cause of what it means. I am almost so done and close to not engaging men in anything beyond strangers on the train dynamic/ too much is lacking. they are too empty. as i am learning that folk only act like that when they feel unworthy, unloved , lacking respect for self, regard, ...so how will they have it for you. then i am imagining this male to mother story is more than a myth and notion. i saw it with my own father who had a deep hatred deep love for his mother which played out as this bipolar moody ugly dysfunction with my mother.. manipulation, cunning, usury rules the day, and we have not even gotten to the universal dilemma of surviving for these people, cause i first thought that was the building block motivation and it is, but gosh so much and many is all intertwined/unextracted from the other.
you just got to leave it alone for sanity.
it pains me to have to ponder cutting out a whole frame of interaction and possibility just to be safe and sane and I should not have to navigate, negotiate, compromise, balance or choose between the two. but i see that is the life for most women. women who want to deal with what passes for what used to be call man.
all in their late 30s , 40s and they are still children
i am not gonna.
but yeah. this was a soundbarrier for me. this never ending story.
and you see that pic. VOLUMES> SHOUTS VOLUMES at cosmic decibel levels
i done.
men hate women, in general. and is only damn idiots cant admit that. wont face it
but all the stories are about me, abounding..i just happen to be lucky to read scripts from other stages, and not be in my own production.
priestess goddess please continue to deliver me!
i saw this. clicked to start reading. read the first three lines before i clicked and by the time it opened up i was holding my face trying to hold back the tears. this story broke a barrier for me.. it came at a time I was processing my own life, context, circumstances, strangers on trains, community people and men in my life and experiences for the last year and over...and what this Ray Rice story did was make me confront how deeply entrenched, common and normal normel it is for the males i know ...they all hate women...and if i were to start giving you the reasons I say so you would think i am crazy. and you already do, but to take it to a whole nother level. but my observations are for the highly sensitive, the things most people would miss and only catch when they are smacked in the head bouncing off an elevator onto unconscious on the ground with the man not even batting an eye while he waits for the elevator to rise or drop to his pressed destination. it even happened today. a friend so called called to say his birthday was yesterday, asked me what i was doing, said lets go for a drink. i asked him when he said in a little bit. after an hour i got ready. poured some sorrel to chase and called. text. no answer. that is some blatant bullshit, disregard and doh care but who gets meted out that kind of treatment, and men do that all the time here. I see them do it with their mothers. she send them for something on an errand he end up by me, liming, chilling, coassing...i even had to tell someone once, 'please dont ever do that to me' the guy today, I would have never pegged him for that...one of those high class, come from long time money and established family so i would expect a bit more polish but to me, nigga is nigga behavior and you could have straight indian hair and you would be a nigga too by that kind of action and impression. but it has been paining me. deeply. cause of what it means. I am almost so done and close to not engaging men in anything beyond strangers on the train dynamic/ too much is lacking. they are too empty. as i am learning that folk only act like that when they feel unworthy, unloved , lacking respect for self, regard, ...so how will they have it for you. then i am imagining this male to mother story is more than a myth and notion. i saw it with my own father who had a deep hatred deep love for his mother which played out as this bipolar moody ugly dysfunction with my mother.. manipulation, cunning, usury rules the day, and we have not even gotten to the universal dilemma of surviving for these people, cause i first thought that was the building block motivation and it is, but gosh so much and many is all intertwined/unextracted from the other.
you just got to leave it alone for sanity.
it pains me to have to ponder cutting out a whole frame of interaction and possibility just to be safe and sane and I should not have to navigate, negotiate, compromise, balance or choose between the two. but i see that is the life for most women. women who want to deal with what passes for what used to be call man.
all in their late 30s , 40s and they are still children
i am not gonna.
but yeah. this was a soundbarrier for me. this never ending story.
and you see that pic. VOLUMES> SHOUTS VOLUMES at cosmic decibel levels
i done.
men hate women, in general. and is only damn idiots cant admit that. wont face it
but all the stories are about me, abounding..i just happen to be lucky to read scripts from other stages, and not be in my own production.
priestess goddess please continue to deliver me!
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