so last night Ladean, i went to sleep at 10:12pm. At 10:25 pm I looked at my phone for the time, for i was just awakened by a small earthquake 5.4 on the richter, and for the seconds before I awoke, I felt it as if the bed was being pulled across the floor. So I return back to sleep.
and slept till 3am to go to the bathroom. Then I realized I was dreaming...
I was pregnant.It appears I was in new york city, perhaps midtown manhattan somewhere. and along side a garden park rimmed with those four feet high nice elegant sturdy steel gates painted in black. I seemed to have been there with a female who was some distance off, and as if she was at a doorway, perhaps leading me into the hospital to have the baby that was in belly, but just immediately at that scene, mark, yes, our old mark we have written and read about so much...the one who was in need of learning respect...he shows up. and he took the baby from me. now mind you, yes I said i was pregnant, yes i thought i was going to give birth, but when he appeared, he took the baby which was his, a girl, and began to care for her, make makeshift clothing for her, perhaps from a tshirt or something, and slinging her, or putting her in a carousel stroller. it was like he was taking
his/mine/our baby while i go give birth but true enough the belly holding the baby was low, flat, small and flacid. anyway, that is when I was awakened by the earthquake. Mark supporting me, caring for our baby and giving care to her so i was able to go on and do something else, bring forth another.
So i write about it. Write about these consecutive days from the 13th, 14th, and then today the 16th, I seemed to have dreams, phone calls, interactions and meetings where it seems all my life dreams and visions, wants and desires, missions and intent were coming to me as possible manifestations. By the time I was writing there was already a list of eleven items. The twelfth being this dream: Babies. I want to have the two i gave up previously; two boys. So it was interesting that this baby in the dream, Mark's was a girl.
i stayed up till five pm/and returned back to sleep. Awakening at 7:22am from a phone call from my ex inviting me to a thanksgiving on land i was farming with him in 2013...And i realized, to my shock and horror and surprise and happiness...again about Mark. How that happened I have no idea. I did not will it; intention it. I was not thinking of him. IN reality, for the last few weeks I have just grown cold and trying to move on for my interaction with him was the most bizarre, the most passionate, the most destined filled, but the most conflicting and conflict ridden and challenged, and contested and not given space as if the universe of conditions were somehow trying to starve it of oxygen.
So in the dream i was sitting amidst several women, four others. They were all his family, friends and relatives. most were younger than me. it was like a family hangout. We were eating curry shrimp. all the women and I were on a platform like above the ground, and he was on the ground in the yard, at the edge of the platform, eating his plate. and something happened where it was like he stuck the spoon to hit the back of his throat and gagged and coughed.. and his little cousin said, i warn you of doing that. so we eat, they mill, chit chat. then the cousin on my right side, a teen, asks for help to do a math problem or homework and Mark approaches her closer, still on the ground, we on the platform and proceeds to open up this black leather six inch deep minimum case full of math tools and measurements and a fancy calculator...and I look at him and ask, "are you good in math" (last night i watched Nova on PBS that discussed math and how it is all embedded in nature and I blogged and posted about it, coming to the realization that nature is math and math is the physics of our natural world. it was amazing. and somehow when i asked him that question the sense i had was that he was an architect. then he replies, "i might as well be, putting/setting up port of spain for carnival" . See here, every year, an infrastructure is built in our capital city (stages, platforms, stands, cabins for vendors, market places -- endless and not just for port of spain, for all over the country. and then they are dismantled. It seemed he was a contractor at the least in that work, clearly it appeared he had a firm doing that work, and he was doing well.
But here is the thing, the backdrop was silent but still screamingly apparent even despite my question of astonishment and appearing unknowing...But we were together. My life was with him. We were a couple. Living the life. I cant say marriage, but it might as well would be.
Then the dreamed end when i awoke at 7:22.
And then I started writing In my astonishment. How did I dream of this man, these involved dreams depicting a very entrenched, involved and committed life with this man, spanning different time lines, and indicating various stages of a life and progress: Babies, Work, Family friends and relatives, Productivity and Happiness of Function and Balance.
I am stunned.
I leave thinking our connection is in fact a destiny bigger than either of us or our present respective conditions. That we are together, will be together just not in this timing. And I dont believe my dreams were of my creations, not consciously anyway.
But i am left feeling happy and comforted. These dreams validate all I have felt all these months, since I met him on Wednesday June 25th, 2014. But the reality seemed to challenge those notions and i thought i was being delusional. But I am given pause. Time will tell.
Then you post and pull this card today
Am i making this stuff up?
Mark and Melise
kissing.
first came love
then comes marriage
then babies in their carriage
THREE
two boys and the first girl
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--------------At 6:29pm Thursday April 16, 2015 i come to this on my thread
"May all those who want to bring forth children we call on Baba Orisa-nla,for the divine blessings of childhood.
Obatala,Orisa popo,Orisa Ogiyan,Orisa Ijaye,orisa Onile.and all cognomens.
As we say of him: Banta-Banta N'nu ala! Immense in white robes!
O sun n'nu ala, He sleeps in white clothes,
O ji n'nu ala, He wakes in white Clothes,
O tinu ala dide He rises in white Clothes.
Ba n'la Oko Yemowo! Venerable Father ! Yemowo's Consort!
Orisha wu mi ni budo Orisha delights me as he is in State;
Ibi re lorisha kale It is a delectable place where Orisha is enthroned.
No is a good time for who believe are barren to give and ask for his blessings of being with child.
May the Babalawo and Ifa be consulted and may the wishes come through for all those who give ebo.......
Iba Esu-Elegbara,Shango-Oya,Os
All is love,all life is love."
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